It's The Only Life You Got
by JustBecauseImAwesome
Summary: Kendall had lost a lot in his life. But he never expected to lose her. And he found it hard to deal with. But he'll make it through. He always does. One-Shot. Character Death. Angsty. Please review. T for paranoia. I disclaim. Don't sue.


**A/N: Updated: Fixed a few mistakes.**

**General POV**

_He picked up the phone, seeing the familiar number on the screen of the Blackberry. He hit the answer button, expecting to hear his little sisters voice on the other end. He didn't. "Hello, is this a Kendall Knight?"_

__

"Maybe." He responded, suddenly scared. "Who is this? Why do you have my sisters phone? Where is she?" He became frantic, and the other six people in the studio looked up at him.

"Please sir. Calm down. I'm Officer Vega with the Los Angeles Police Department. Your sister was in a car accident. You need to-" Kendall didn't hear the rest of the sentence. The words hit him like a brick to the base of the spine.

His sister had been with Jo, his girlfriend, for the night, and the two girls had gone too see a movie. He knew Jo would never intentionally harm Katie, and she was a safe driver, so it couldn't be her fault. But Katie? In a car accident? "Sir?" The voice jolted him from his trance.

"Uh. Yes. I'm here. Have you contacted my mom?" He asked, struggling not to break in front of his friends.

"Yes sir. She's on her way to pick you up right now."

"Um. Thank you officer. The other person? Can you tell me anything?" While Jo was of lower priority then, he couldn't hesitate to ask. He knew that sounded mean, but he didn't really care.

"No sir. I'm not allowed."

"Okay. Thanks anyway." Kendall hung up and stood up, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair he was formerly in.

"Whats wrong Kendall?" His friend Logan asked.

_"We have to go. My moms on her way." Kendall started for the door, but froze when he realized no one was following him. He turned around and saw everyone staring at him. "Now!" He yelled, and everyone jumped up. Nobody dared question that tone. Not if you wanted to live.  
_

Kendall walked into the kitchen of Apartment 2J, grabbing a glass from the shelf and turning on the sink. He filled the glass with water and leaned against the counter. It was 3 AM, and he couldn't sleep. Not that he expected too. He sighed, and took a sip of the water. He hadn't slept for weeks. He needed help, and he knew it. But he kept refusing it.

The creaks and groans of the structure kept him up at night, even though he lived at the Palm Woods for nearly six months. He considered waking one of his friends, but he knew they needed their sleep. He thought about waking his mom, but she had work in the morning, so he didn't want too.

He was annoyed as it was, and that infernal ringing needed to stop. _Wait, the apartment doesn't ring. _He quickly realized it was his phone, ringing from the same place he had left it on the orange couch the night before. He walked to it, and checked the number, wondering who would call so late. Or early. Whatever. _Jo? That's weird. Why is she still up? What am I thinking, of course she's up. She was the one actually in the crash. She'd be feeling a lot worse than me. _He hit the button to answer it, but his call list came up instead. _Just missed it. _It pinged a moment later, with a text message.

**Hey. Can u come ovr? I need 2 talk 2 sum1. **

Not bothering to respond, he walked out of the apartment, very gently closing the door, so as not to wake anybody up. He turned left, heading for the stairwell, and eventually the third floor. He quickly found apartment 3D, and knocked on the door.

_Ms. Knight and the four boys sat in the office of the head surgeon of the hospital. They had been waiting for hours, at least it felt like it, for anything about Katie and Jo. Kendall sat quietly on the couch against the wall, Carlos to his right, James to his left. Logan and Ms. Knight sat in the two chairs in front of the large wood desk._

_ All of them were anxious, and for once, Carlos was silent, James wasn't worrying about his looks, and Logan...was just being Logan, sitting quietly, with his usual straight face on. Kendall was flipping out inside his head. He didn't know what happened. He didn't know how bad either girl was injured, or even if they were still alive. _

_Stop it Kendall! He mentally shouted at himself. They will both live and be just fine. Crap. I just implied they could die. He chose instead to try and clear his mind, and after what he thought was five minutes, he stopped trying. He couldn't do it. "Stop it Kendall." Carlos' voice rang in his right ear, and the blonde turned to him._

_"Huh?" He asked._

__

"Your leg." Carlos said, dryly. Kendall looked at his right leg, which he realized was shaking erratically. He stopped it, and sighed. It was then the doctor walked in. Nobody moved. The doctor looked at the sight, usually used to people blasting with questions left and right about their injured family or friends. But nobody ever did anything without being told when Kendall was on edge like that. The doctor decided to break the news standing.

"I'm sorry. But we did all we could." He said, no emotion showing at all. Kendall labeled him as a heartless jerk. Then, the news hit him. Ms. Knight broke into sobs, and the boys sat still. Logan comforted Kendall's mother, James and Carlos sat quietly, and the doctor moved to his desk. Kendall stared at him. Emotions ran rampant in his head. Most of them involving denial and disbelief. But he dared not to say that out loud.

"What about the other girl? Is she okay?" He asked.

"I'm not sure. If you could describe her, maybe give me a name, I could check but-"

_"Its fine. Thanks. I'm taking a walk." Kendall stood and walked out of the office, and the door slammed behind him. Carlos glanced at James, who understood what his long time friend meant. James nodded, and Carlos left the office to follow Kendall. To make sure he wouldn't do anything his friend would later regret.  
_

The door of the apartment didn't open after a minute, and Kendall twisted the handle, to find it unlocked. He walked in, shutting the door behind him, looking around the apartment. The TV in the living room was on, and all the lights were off. A dark figure sat in the light of the TV on the couch, and Kendall walked to it. He tapped the shoulder of the blonde girl, who yelped when she was snapped out of her trance. "What are you doing here? How'd you get in?" She asked. Kendall was shocked by Jo's reaction.

"The door was unlocked. And you just texted me." He answered. She shook her head.

"No I didn't. I don't even have a phone right now. It was destroyed, remember?" Kendall remembered, and was as equally as confused as Jo.

"Then how did I get a text from your number?" He asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm a little freaked out now." Kendall nodded in agreement.

"But it was right." He said.

"Huh?" Jo asked.

"The text. It was right. We need to talk. Its been a month. We've barely said five words to each other since." He explained.

"Uh. I guess. Uh. Sit?" She said, and he sat down to the blondes left. "What do we have to talk about?" She asked.

"I know you blame yourself." Kendall said.

"Well, yeah, but its my fault. If I had never suggested-"

"Stop!" She flinched at Kendall's sudden outburst. "Its not your fault. And if you say it again, I will.." He paused, not knowing what he could do. "I don't know."

"I won't say it. But I can think it." Jo responded.

"No. You better not. There is no way you could have known. Okay?" She nodded, and, with a sigh, Kendall asked a question he had been dying to know the answer to.

_Carlos found Kendall sitting on a bench outside the hospital, quietly crying. He made no attempt to approach him, knowing the teen needed time alone. Heck, he needed some himself. But he couldn't leave Kendall alone. So he picked a bench closer to the main entrance to the building and sat down. He sat back and sat quietly, watching Kendall. _

_He knew about the boys way of dealing with loss. Try and talk to him about it, and you usually ended up with a broken jaw and exceptional amounts of pain. Carlos learned that the hard way when Mr. Knight died many years before. He felt really bad, and it felt like a big piece of him was missing. He was always the troublemaker, whether in LA or Minneapolis. And Katie had always been right next to him, either as his assistant or the actual cause __of the trouble. _

_Carlos jumped when his cell phone beeped, signifying a new text message. He pulled it from his pocket and glanced at it. It was from James.  
_

_**U find K yet? His mom is flipping out. **_

_Carlos quickly sent a reply telling him not to worry, and took a deep breath. The warm LA air made Carlos uncomfortable, having a low base body temperature and all. But he didn't really care. All that mattered right now was that Katie was gone, and his best friend was having to deal with it in a way he never expected. They all were, and none of them liked it. _

Jo remained silent. She didn't like the way Kendall was acting. She knew it was just his way of dealing with the loss of his sister, but it was still annoying. She said nothing about it though. "I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time." Kendall said, and Jo nodded.

"I get it. At least you don't have to deal with the nightmares." Jo said, unconsciously adding a sharp tone to her voice. Kendall backed off slightly, and Jo mentally slapped herself.

"Sorry. I didn't realize-"

"No. I'm sorry. Just skip it, okay?" She asked, calmer now. Kendall nodded, and Jo took a deep breath. She realized it wasn't her fault, but she blamed herself. Of course, if there was anyone to blame, it was the idiot in the truck that hit them at eighty miles an hour. He was now facing life in jail for something along the lines of driving under the influence, murder, attempted murder, and fleeing the scene.

That's right, the jerk was still trying to run after hitting a car.

"Alright. Anything you need to say?" Kendall asked. This was the first time he had ever spoken to someone about his little sisters death. He wasn't sure of what to say. Jo shook her head.

"No. You can go." She said.

"K." Kendall stood, but paused halfway to the door. "Don't blame yourself. You'll end up killing yourself or something. Its not your fault. And just really quickly, if you didn't send the text, who did?" Jo didn't answer. She didn't have an answer. Kendall shrugged. "See you tomorrow." He said, before leaving the apartment. Jo nodded to no one, and was left wondering who could have sent it.

_Two weeks after the accident, _

_Kendall sat on the couch in his old house. His sisters funeral had come and gone, and the boys of Big Time Rush had flown back to Minnesota for the week. _

_He was severely depressed. His friend were there to help him though. And his mom. And Camille. And Stephanie, Kelly, and Gustavo even, metaphorically speaking. He would count Jo, but she was still in the hospital in LA, and she needed support just as much as him. She had been hurt pretty badly, after all. Her parents had flown out from North Carolina, and were with her. They were all going through hard times. _

_Carlos watched from the doorway as his friend at the TV from the couch. If anyone had it hard, it was Kendall. In actual order, it was Jo, dealing with the guilt she felt, not to mention the fact she may never walk again, then Kendall, just losing his sister, as well as losing his will to live. Then, of course, Ms. Knight, suffering through yet another loss in her life. But they would get through it. They always did. They had too. _

_Present Day,_

Carlos smiled at the ceiling of his room when he heard the door of the apartment close again for the second time in fifteen minutes. He knew he had just helped Kendall in a way he couldn't even understand.


End file.
